Cisco's Book Review of "Hiding in Hip Hop"
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When I first put Karlos, YOCISCO.com’s music consultant on to the topic of Homosexuality and hip hop, I wasn’t sure what information would be out there to support the topic. After all, gay is the last thing you think of when you hear Hip Hop. To my surprise, I learned of Terrance Dean, an ex MTV executive that was soon to release a book about his experiences as a gay man on the down low in the world of entertainment. I immediately contacted his publicist and arranged for Karlos to interview Mr. Dean. Upon purchasing the book (available at most major book stores), I settled in, ready to play the guessing game as to who were these down low entertainers he was mentioning.
It’s important to note that Terrance Dean does not name any names in the book. He vividly describes places, situations and people. He gives very definite hints as to who these down low models/actors/rappers/executives are but never lists a single specific name. If you have any small amount of expertise about the entertainment industry, you can probably guess who some of these men and women are he is talking about.
Beside the vivid, first hand accounts of entertainment’s secret gay subculture, Terrance tells of his own personal struggle of deep rooted family issues, his experiences with AIDS, molestation and ultimately, his own sexual identity. Despite his difficulties and challenges growing up, he was determined to be successful in the entertainment industry. He ultimately worked his way to becoming an executive at MTV.
The book tells of the struggles and conflicts he encounters while trying to balance a career and still live the down low lifestyle. Most of us have encountered the issue of bringing our sexuality into the work place. Do we tell our co-workers or do we not. How will they react? The entertainment world is much more judgmental than most industries. Image is everything. Coming out could be disastrous to a person’s career, especially someone working their way up the food chain. Despite this, Terrance points out that gay men have been the silent force behind the fashions, trends and images of the hip hop industry, not to mention passionate supporters of the music and lifestyle.
Terrance discusses a significant amount of his own personal soul searching in the book. He points out many of the industry’s flaws as well as the general attitudes communities of color have towards homosexuality and how that affects the way we live. Black and Latino cultures are not as open to the idea of gay men and women as white communities. Religious, cultural and social issues all play in to this mind-set. Terrance points out that the black community is oppressed and frustrated and ends up using gays and women as scapegoats. The community does not talk about homosexuality unless it is being criticized in the church or ridiculed in rap music. Because of the obstacles we face as gay men of color, many continue to live the down low lifestyle.
Ultimately, Hiding in Hip Hop is the story of one man’s journey to realize his identity and be proud of who he is. The backdrop of the high profile entertainment industry, coupled with the lifestyle of one our most beloved styles of music, hip hop, makes for a literary work that is the epitome of who we are as gay men of color. Our experiences and struggles are something that are very real and have not yet been fully documented or recognized by our society or the gay community as a whole. Hiding in Hip Hop is a must read for all men of color who have struggled with who they are and are looking for something that validates our existence as gay Black and Latino men.
Check out the piece Logo did on Terrance Dean, click here
