Interview with Terrance Dean, author of "Hiding in Hip Hip"
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Sitting outside my house, enjoying the summer heat with a beer in hand, I thought it was going to be just another beautiful day in the bay area. Suddenly, I received a very interesting call that would open the doors to one of the most controversial topics I have ever addressed. The phone rings as I stare at the unknown number calling my phone, wondering if this is the call I had been waiting for. I answer in an unsure manner. On the line is a very well spoken man asking for me. Come to find out the caller was none other than Terrance Dean, author of the newly released book, “Hiding in Hip Hop, On the down low in the entertainment industry- from music to Hollywood.” “Finally,” I thought, “Cisco got through to his publicist.”
“Hiding in Hip Hop” is a memoir of Terrance Dean’s life and the sub-culture that is homosexuality in the hip hop industry. Terrance has been in entertainment for years and has worked for both BET and MTV. He is also the founder of Men’s Empowerment Inc., a support group for black men in the entertainment industry. With multiple accomplishments under his belt and an insider’s view of the entertainment industry, I knew this interview would be extremely insightful! Quickly, I am let on to his funny sense of humor as we break the ice talking about our own experiences. Getting sidetracked, I try to focus on my main purpose, to find out all I can about his book “Hiding in Hip Hop” and what lead him to publish what might soon become one of the most controversial books written about the music industry.
Terrance what lead you to the publishing and writing of your book Hiding in Hip Hop? And what impact do you want it to have on its readers and followers?
[Quick silence] Hiding In Hip Hop is a memoir of my life, coming from a dysfunctional family, mom being a heroine addict and prostitute she caught HIV, she passed away of AIDS. I am one of four children. When my mother passed away my siblings went to group homes. I lost three family members through AIDS. Life was tough. Growing up I felt I had no voice, no self worth. I hope this book can create a voice for those in similar backgrounds and experiences. I hope it creates a “self spirit” of never giving up. I also hope this book can become a voice for those who are behind the scenes of what makes HIP HOP now a day… There are so many people in the industry who make hip hop what it is (publicists, managers, artist themselves, producers, etc) who cannot be “out” due to the impact the have on society now a days. Especially in the hip hop industry.
Have you come across any negative feedback or opinions from press about your memoir, since
it is a very sensitive and controversial subject, especially in the Black and Latino community?
I haven’t received any bad press because they understand it and get it. People who have read the book already are excited and want the exposure of this book to be a voice. How ever those in the hip hop community are 50/50 about it, some are backing it up completely saying that it’s needed in order to expose this sub culture in Hollywood. Then theirs those who don’t want the story to become exposed the ask questions like why is there a need to expose what’s been hiding so long, some maybe scared this will draw attention to this sub-cultured lifestyle making it a bit too exposed. But I really don’t think about what kind of press it is getting, it’s a huge accomplishment for me already.
Do you think this book will cause a whirlwind of controversy in the industry, due to the almost specific details that are found in the book?
I have been getting a lot of encouragement from the industry itself. Telling me how finally people will see this sub-culture that IS Gay Hollywood which has been around for so long. The sub-culture of gay hip hop is coming to exposure. I don’t feel the negative feedback will affect me or the book, like I said earlier the truth empowers me, the truth empowers people. This book is a memoir of my life and my experiences. My main focus of this book is NOT to expose the sub culture that is Gay Hollywood but an honest and raw book about the truth.
Reports claim that you do not completely “out” anyone in specific, is this correct? And if so, why did you choose NOT to do so.
[Laughs] I encourage everyone to buy and read my book. In a form of speech I put the pieces to the puzzle for readers to put together with their own understanding of what the book is telling. It’s his memoir, not a book on “outing” people; that is not my main concern or focus of this book. But the experiences I do tell about in the book are all real.
In your book, you openly talk about a few sex parties; describing them as a time and place for the “down low” to get together. Any inside views you can tell us about these and other events.
Yes, I was introduced to sex parties by others in the same sub-culture world I know as Gay Hollywood. In the book I talk about “down parties” or “sex parties” etc. As a place for guys like me where we would get together and feel free to express ourselves and feel comfortable around others alike. Since it’s so hard and frustrating having to live a double life in the industry, people like me would find comfort in places for the down low in Hollywood.
How truly difficult is it to live a closeted life in the industry? Especially for those who are in the spotlight. Do you think the number of people in the industry on the “down low” is more than we think?
[Laughs] Part of why I wrote the book is so theirs exposure to such a prominent sub culture, especially in Hollywood. It is a very big community we don’t ever see unless your part of it. There is regular “out” and Hollywood “out”. Hollywood “out” is all behind closed doors; where people in this sub-culture are open about it with each other but it’s never mentioned outside of that circle, because again you have to live a DOUBLE life, one for the public and one for yourself. At a point I didn’t know who I truly was, being so caught up in my own double life, I was confused about who I was and what I was feeling. That’s when I decided to completely come out and be who I knew I was all along. I am confident enough to say that Yes, there is a big gay/lesbian community within the Hip Hop/Hollywood community.
Since the book is yet to be released, what other topics do you write about in Hiding in Hip Hop that are not necessarily about “outing” celebrities.
I talk about being molested at the age of 13 by a neighbor. How sexual molestation is never really mentioned in communities like the Black and Latino communities. I speak about the black church and its ways of shutting down on the reality of homosexuality, how it really DOES exist. Theirs so much this book will tell. It’s a memoir, a story of true events.
How far are you taking this book, in terms of exposure in the media? Any appearances coming up?
I hope it will go out to different countries (Canada, UK, Europe in general). I also have major plans of making this book international not just in Europe. My reasoning behind this is in order to Educate and create Tolerance. I will be appearing at the Gay Center in NYC speaking about the book may 15th. I will also be at the Black Men’s Exchange it’s an all male group; there I will be talking about the book as well as other personal experiences. Some other events ill be participating in are Boston Pride where ill be speaking about my life and at New York Pride where ill be speaking about the same.
Are we expecting to see you be part of any big projects in the near future? What can you share with us?
I will be writing another book about Black and Latino male sexuality. I'm also continuing to speak vocally about my experiences as well as continuing the dialogue of expressing yourself.
